Order of Service - Transcript
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Entrance to chapel – Stars from Les Miserables
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Introduction

Good Morning to you. I would like to thank you for being here today for this ceremony. I know some of you are watching rather than being here in person as today is very different to your original plans but wherever you are makes no difference to the strength of feeling.

Death is a very personal matter to those who experience the death of someone close to them, but we are all concerned directly or indirectly with the death of another as we are all members of the same human community. Though some of the links are strong and some are tenuous each of us are joined to all the others by links of family, love or friendship. It’s these links that bring us here and I hope this ceremony will bring you some degree of comfort and consolation.

Whilst not a religious ceremony today should be inclusive to all regardless of your own beliefs. Jill grew up with a faith and it has always been part of her life in her own way so today should reflect this.

Please listen now to the hymn chosen for today which is the 23rd Psalm.

The Lords My Shepherd

The Lord’s my Shepherd, I’ll not want;

He makes me down to lie

In pastures green; He leadeth me

The quiet waters by.

Goodness and mercy all my life

Shall surely follow me;

And in God’s house forevermore,

My dwelling place shall be.

The Tribute

Born in 1935 Jill’s life began a long way from here as she was born in Baildon in Yorkshire as one of 6. Her husband, Keith was also from the same small village and they were lucky enough to enjoy an extremely long and happy marriage. Married life began in Yorkshire surrounded by their families and they became parents to three sons: Richard, Malcolm and Nigel.

Jill stayed at home with her sons and she has been the most supportive parent they could have wished for. She ran everything perfectly being a keen cook who went to catering college before marriage and worked as a cook. Jill encouraged each one of them in their different pursuits. Sport, music, Scouts you name it and she was always there.

It was Keith’s work that brought a move south, first to Buckinghamshire then to Wokingham, then briefly to Camberley and finally in 1983 they downsized and moved to Basingstoke.

Keith retired at 57 and they have been able to thoroughly enjoy that time together. Golf was something they shared playing at both Tylney Park and Dummer and they had a wonderful social circle with whom they enjoyed golf holidays. There was also a round the world trip for the two of them.

After being widowed Jill’s innate strength of character kept her going. She had to learn to do all the things that had previously been outside her remit but she took it in her stride. Jill drove and continued until she was 82 which helped tremendously in ensuring she was as independent as she could possibly be.

Made of stern stuff, Jill was Yorkshire through and through and had  traditional values which she lived by. Time keeping and manners mattered to her and she lived by the waste not want not credo. Being left handed she championed the introduction of special left handed cheque books to make things easier as well, she was certainly a woman of great determination.

Jill continued to play golf and to attend local social clubs such as the church lunch club and when she could no longer drive she simply took the bus instead.

Her family were an important part of her life – becoming Grannie to 6 and then a Great Grandparent brought her much joy. That relationship between the generations is unique and they will all have their own very precious memories of times shared. Both Vicki and Shannon would like to share some of theirs now.

Vikki & Shannon

 

From Vikki:

Dearest Grannie,

 

I cannot quite believe that you are gone. I was sure that you would be here for many more years to come. However, as you very wisely taught me, there are no guarantees in life and one cannot assume that the plans we make for the future will necessarily turn out that way.

 

This is just one of many valuable lessons that you have passed on to me and I’m sure many others, not forgetting that once you’ve said something you cannot take it back. Whether it was said in jest, anger or stupidity, it is out there forever. This is something that I will always try to teach my children. As well as actually trying new foods before declaring their distaste for them!

 

One of the fondest memories I have is collecting rubber bands with you and Grandad from the pavements and paths of Chineham many years ago.

 

We’d take them home, give them a bath and the next day they’d be good as new, ready to be twisted and tied all over again, serving their purpose once more. I hope that we can all learn to treat everything in life this way, as you always did, looking for a way to reuse something. There wasn’t much that you considered ready to be thrown away and I will forever admire that about you. Your optimism, hope and your confidence that something considered as useless by many can be reborn and put to good use again.

 

I write this at 2am on Wednesday 11th March 2020, unable to sleep for thinking of you and reliving all of the wonderful times we’ve shared, and there have been many.

 

I’m also desperately wishing I could hear you say ‘472492’ just once more! I will never forget the happiness on your face when Penelope was chatting to you, or your smile when saying goodbye at the front door after many fun hours drinking coffee, eating biscuits and putting the world to rights!

 

I think I’m right in saying that one of your greatest pleasures in life, apart from the fags, was simply talking to people and I hope that you know, we loved talking to you too. Never a dull conversation was had with you Grannie.

 

I’m so sorry that we couldn’t give you the send off that you so deserve, with all of your friends and family to say goodbye. Although I am comforted that you haven’t had to go through this craziness with us. That being said, if anyone could keep a calm head at times like this, it was you.

 

You were the strongest person I have ever and probably will ever know, and I will miss you so much. Although knowing that you have been reunited with your love after all this time brings me more happiness than losing you brings me sadness. Rest in peace with Grandad. You will forever be in our minds, photo frames, hearts and conversations, my wonderful, inspirational Grannie.

 

From Shannon:

To lose someone suddenly is such a shock and there will be an enormous void in your lives now. Jill was as fit and well as you could expect. Still managing everything herself, fiercely independent she was sharp as a tack – still keeping extensive records and diaries and up to date and interested in everything.

 

However you knew her and whatever your relationship you will miss her very much. She will live on though through all of you as she has helped to shape you into the people you are today.

Prayers

Please pray together now and then spend a few quiet moments with your own private prayer and contemplation on all that Jill has meant to you.

(After which will be)

The Lords Prayer

Our Father, which art in heaven,

Hallowed be thy Name.

Thy Kingdom come.

Thy will be done in earth,

As it is in heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread.

And forgive us our trespasses,

As we forgive them that trespass against us.

And lead us not into temptation,

But deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen

Closure and Farewell

Thank-you to those of you who have been able to join us today.  I’m sure all the people who can’t be here today due to circumstances will be thinking of Jill.

We each amass many different kinds of memories some of which are painful and recall the grief of loss, others are full of happiness and I hope those memories will be at the forefront of your minds today. I hope that you will be glad that you have been able to come together today to reflect on Jill’s life as well as to say Goodbye.

When you do leave here today and go forwards into your lives you will each take with you your own memories of her and how her life joined yours.

The best answer to death is the continued affirmation of life and I hope you will all continue to live your lives to the fullest just as Jill lived hers.

Whilst we must say goodbye, please hold onto what you may keep of her. Cherish her unique personality in your memories. Treasure her humanity in your hearts.

I would like to end with an extract from the Bible. This particular extract was marked in Jill’s own Bible which was given at her confirmation and the meaning behind it describes Jill so well but it is also something we would do well to pay attention to ourselves.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honourable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

With very deep sorrow but also with love and thankfulness for a life well lived we must now take our leave of Jill.

Rest In Peace Jill

Our love and care goes with you.

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Departing Music – Abide With Me by Benny Martin
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